Ruth Ke Hamse Kabhi....

Chilling winter morning and it rained yesterday, morning breeze and the cold wind is making the atmosphere around hard to stay, winter has always been favorite weather when you can chill with your winter ware. I am standing alone waiting, it's been more than two years but still this wait is on.

Not many times when you would feel that need of intimate escape, run away from everybody to a solace where you can spend your time just looking into those eyes which means the world to you. When today I looked at her, I never seen her looking so lovely as she did tonight. Those highlights in her hairs catch my eyes...I felt blinded for a while. With apprehension in heart I made my move:

Me: "Hello"
She: "Hi, I thought you told you won't come here"
Me: "Well, I changed my mind...I think for good"

She gave me a blushing smile and I knew I hit the right cord, then I was dancing with the lady in red creating enemies around who might have thought to get this moment...but I made my swift move first, lucky me!

Time moved on and we became good friends to best friends. We started spending most of our time together, this was the best company we could find and yes we both were enjoying these moments. What will be future none of us bothered to care, we just wanted to enjoy this time together. I can't remember a day when I was not questioned on not completing my work, not finishing assignments or bunking the classes. I knew I didn't had to bother about them because there was someone who would always make it for my misses. I always used to make up to all of my mistakes by singing for her, my only one fan for whom I would sing and sing from my heart, it always worked! I never realized in these times that I was getting addicted to all these. I never missed a chance to hurt her knowingly or unknowingly. Always told "Where else you will go apart from me?", I was always replied with a million dollar smile in return. I intentionally used to tease to get this charming smile, it was worth it.


One day out of blue I was shocked with a question from her "What will happen if I leave you and go away?". Stunned with the question I thought it was a joke but it wasn't, she was very serious. I waited for some time not thinking but looking at her then replied "I'll wait!". She responded "What if I won't come back ever?", Without thinking twice I replied "I'll wait forever!", tears were around in eyes, none of us uttered a word but the haunting silence was screaming aloud, I wished to rewind the moment and erase from existence but it wasn't a possibility..but still I wished I could.

After sometime, I was standing next to her, while she was deep asleep. I knew that this might be one of the last time I would see her, she looked tired of pain, a pain which she held for many years, fighting for survival and search of tranquility for which she was never destined to. In past years I never realized this pain but I was certain of one thing that she knew it and she knew it from long. It's bizarre but at times you pray not for life but for the final faithful departure of loved one because you can't bear living the pain you see every time in their eyes. Its good enough to give a sudden death every time you see it in their eyes.

When I said that you won't find a place after leaving me, I never realized that I'll be haunted by those memories down the lane. I always question myself if I wasn't careful enough to read through the lines or read in her eyes for the message? I never gave importance of her existence in my life but only now I realize that I should have asked myself first what will I do when she would leave me? Today I am standing here waiting for someone knowing will never come but the wait is on........